How to Overcome Worry and Fear
I want to talk to you a bit about the concept of worry and fear because these two emotions are like handcuffs, chaining you to your grief and preventing you from moving on.
Worry and fear are also, obviously not specific to grief in that you’ll encounter these feelings throughout life. So, it’s important you become familiar with how to handle worry and fear when they become overwhelming.
If you ask most people why they have not reached a level of acceptance in their state of grief, they will usually respond with some built-in excuse (negative belief) that is holding them back. Underlying this excuse or negative belief is usually a fear or worry.
How many times have you attempted something new, only to stop before you ever got started because you were afraid of what others may think? Or you don’t think you have the time or energy or both? Or because you believe are inexperienced or lack the knowledge to find success in whatever it is you’re pursuing?
One of my favorite definitions of fear, breaks the word down into an easy to remember acronym. In it, F.E.A.R. is defined as False Evidence Appearing Real, which means we have chosen to believe in something that is not really true. But because it is our belief, it is our reality.
Worry is nothing more than a sustained fear caused by indecision. Sometimes we need to ask some tough questions to determine the cause of these worries or fears. Once the fear is identified, a simple formula can be used to overcome that fear.
The first step is to clearly define what you are afraid of or worried about. Write in down. Put in on paper. Half of your worries and fears will be solved the instant you can define them clearly by putting them on paper. What once seemed big in your mind will look smaller and less significant on paper.
For the other half (the more challenging worries), you need to move on to step two. Ask yourself, what is the worst possible thing that can happen if this fear or worry becomes true?
Make a list, yes, write it down on paper underneath your clearly defined worry. Keep writing down everything that comes to mind until you have identified the worst possible outcome.
I want you to notice something as you carry on this exercise. Do you realize that 90% of what we worry about never happens? Think about how much time you spend on worrying about stuff that never will happen. This list will help you see that.
Once you have completed your list, resolve in your mind that you will accept the worst possible thing that can happen. Since 90% of those things will never occur and generally the other 10% will not kill you, realize you will survive.
Accept the worst possible thing by telling yourself, I can handle it, over and over again. This will start to turn things around.
Finally, begin now to make sure the worst never happens. Put together an action plan of exactly what you need to do to turn things around. By focusing on positive changes and implementing your action plan, your focus will shift to the positive outcomes and away from your fears.
You will begin to feel better because now you can DO SOMETHING! Positive action is the only cure for fear and worry. Try this formula today and see if it will work for you. It has worked for me and many others, so you’ll be in good company.
Worry and Fear can really be complicated by personal grief. It’s understandble – there is help. Be sure to sign up below to receive my next video on how to overcome feelings of grieve and distress during this difficult time of loss.
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